First, I want you to try on a belief with me.

I want you to consider, if only for this moment, that your soul chose an eating disorder as means of coping with something.

Don’t worry too much about what the “something” is just yet, as it may not be apparent from your current vantage point.

It will be revealed to you in due time, as you are ready to perceive it.

In other words, your eating disorder served (perhaps still serves) a purpose for you. The goal of considering this is to soften yourself towards it.

Why should you soften yourself towards your disease?

Softening your resistance, your battle against your eating disorder allows you to begin to soften towards yourself, to stop battling against yourself.

The work of healing, of recovery, doesn’t happen when you are warring with yourself, condemning or criticizing yourself for your problems. 

Recovery has nothing to do with batting the eating disorder. Recovery will come through self-reconnection—the pre-requisite for self-reflection. 

Dr. Gabor Mate, leading addiction recovery physician says it something like this; “don’t ask why the addiction, ask why the pain?”

Softening to the ED, your chosen coping mechanism, allows you to start to perceive why you’re in pain—what is out of balance.

When I was in the grips of my eating disorder I berated myself for it. I thought it was my weak will that prevented me from recovering. Why couldn’t I stop binging? Everyone else could control themselves. Everyone else was “normal”. I was ashamed at my inability to control my impulses and disgusted at the behaviours I felt powerless to control. 

I was obsessing about trying to control “the addiction.” I didn’t even care about my pain.

I lacked compassion for myself. I demanded perfection of myself and gave myself no love.

Having compassion for yourself means being willing to see the reasons for your suffering, instead of condemning yourself for your illness. It means holding your pain with love and understanding, instead of telling yourself to suck it up and criticizing yourself for having manifestations of that pain.

Refusing your body nourishment is self-abuse—period. The beliefs your hold about why it's justified are the problem. 

If you have an eating disorder you are for sure mean to yourself, and shining the light on the beliefs you hold that drive you to be mean to yourself will inch you towards recovery.

Your soul chose this means of coping because you needed it, and because you did not know a better way. You experienced certain factors, stresses, situations, pressures etc that were severe enough to require it.

 Trust that your soul has a plan.

 You will recover in your right time. Once the pain of staying the same is worse than your fear of change.

Everything is happening as it should.

Life is working for your highest good.

You will recover.

It’s going to be magical. Its going to be work. It’s going to grow your character so much that one day you will be grateful it happened to you. 

The beliefs you hold, determine how your life unfolds.

Healing will happen from the inside.

I’m going to help you.

Keep coming back here, I’ll be posting a lot more on this topic. Ask me questions. I’m here to help. I’m here to show you that your complete recovery is possible.